The Alien's New Groove
by TheMollyandPippinShow
Summary: The final chapter in "The Emperor's New Crossover" Trilogy at least for now. Yzma threatens the universe when she teams up with the evil Dr. Hamsterviel.


THE ALIEN'S NEW GROOVE

By Micah Hirsh.

We open on Malina, Kuzco and Kronk, in Hawaii. Wind blows and a piece of paper flies into Kuzco's face. Kuzco removes the piece of paper and reads it.

KUZCO  
Oh no! someone's lost their chinchilla!

KRONK  
Uh Kuzco, that's a dog. Can't you read?

KUZCO  
But look, it's clearly a chinchilla!

Malina then grabs the paper.

MALINA  
Let me see that.

"Lost Dog. If found return to this address…"

MALINA  
Come on guys. We're going to help them find their dog.

KUZCO  
But Malina! This is our vacation!  
Can't we help them find their dog some other time?

MALINA  
Um, that's a great idea, Kuzco.

KUZCO  
Really?

MALINA  
But you forgot one thing, some other time, we won't be here. Now come on Kuzco!

We cut to Malina, Kuzco, and Kronk, arriving at a house with a large Jupiter looking attic observatory room thingy on the roof.

MALINA  
This must be the place.

KUZCO  
I don't like this place. It's weird.

Malina, Kuzco and Kronk walk up to the door and ring the door bell. A woman in a yellow shirt with a red heart in the middle answers.

NANI  
Hello?

KUZCO  
Hi, we're here to help you find your chinchilla.

KRONK  
Yeah, he means your dog.

NANI

Oh, thank you very much. You don't know how much this means to me, wait till I tell my sister. Be right back.

Nani leaves and the three wait.

KRONK  
So, uh, the weather… it's, uh nice.

KUZCO AND MALINA  
Yeah.

KUZCO  
Maybe later we could go surfing!

KRONK  
Or maybe we can have a spinach puff luau!

KUZCO (sarcastically)  
Sure Kronk, and maybe I'll dress in drag and do the hula.

KRONK  
Yeah, you'd, uh, like that, wouldn't you?

KUZCO

Maybe.

Nani then returns to the door, with her little sister.

NANI  
Lilo, these people are here to help us find Stitch.

KUZCO  
Um, who's Stitch.

LILO  
Stitch is my dog.

Kuzco turns to Kronk, and makes a remark.

KUZCO  
and people think I have a weird name.

NANI  
Please, come in.

The three enter the house, and a very strange looking "woman" runs down the stairs.

PLEAKLEY  
Oh my, we have company and nobody told me!? I didn't even have time to put on my makeup. Oh, Jumba, dear … We're not alone.

A large, and bizarre looking "man" then follows Pleakley down the stairs.

JUMBA  
Ah, greetings earth people…I mean guests. What brings you here?

MALINA  
We're to help you find your dog.

JUMBA  
Dog? But we don't have a…

LILO  
She means Stitch.

JUMBA  
Oh, right, Stitch, our dog. Well, welcome to our home.

MALINA  
Thank you, I'm Malina, and these are my friends, Kuzco and Kronk.

NANI  
Well it's very nice to meet you all.

KUZCO  
Uh-huh, and you are?

NANI

Oh, I'm Nani, and this is my little sister Lilo.

LILO  
And they're Aunt Pleakley and Uncle Jumba.

KRONK

Hi Nani, Lilo, Jumba.

Kronk then walks up to Pleakley and kisses him… I mean "her" on the hand.

KRONK  
Enchanté, madame!

Pleakley then does a girly giggle. Kuzco then sticks out his tongue in disgust.

LILO  
Come on we've got to find Stitch!

MALINA  
Alright Lilo, where did you last see Stitch?

LILO  
Well we we're surfing at the beach, Stitch is afraid of water so he watched. But when we we're done and we came to pick him up, he was gone.

KUZCO  
Wait… you left your dog on the beach? No wonder he ran away, If I was left alone on the beach I'd run away too.

LILO  
Well, l he's a very dependable dog.

MALINA  
Well if we're going to find him we better start looking.

We cut to a spaceship,which has landed on the island. As we go inside we see Stitch… who's being held captive… by Yzma.

YZMA  
Now that I have you, I can finally become empress!

A gerbil like creature with long ears and an H on its chest then approaches Yzma.

DR. HÄMSTERVIEL

Wrong! Wrong! You have just caught one of Jumba Jookiba's evil genetic expierements! Once you've caught all 626 experiments, then you become empress!

YZMA  
Yes, and then I can finally destroy Kuzco!

DR. HÄMSTERVIEL

Who is this Couscous of which you speak?

YZMA  
His name is Kuzco. He's my arch nemesis! A selfish Long ago I was his advisor, until the ungrateful little worm fired me, after that I plotted to poison him, but thanks to my incompetent henchman, Kronk, he was simply turned into a llama instead! And his little peasant friend helped him become human again! Ever since then I'm been trying to take his place on the throne.

DR. HÄMSTERVIEL  
So, you have an incompetent henchman too?

YZMA  
Yes. I'm afraid so.

DR. HÄMSTERVIEL  
Small world. My henchman Captain Gantu was always failing in his missions to capture Jumba's experiments. I eventually fired him. That should teach that blubbery buffoon to fail in my presence.

YZMA  
Yes, well where do we find these… other expierements?

DR. HÄMSTERVIEL

Simple, Expieriment 626 knows their location.

YZMA  
Yes, that's very interesting, but how do we find Expieriment 626?

HAMSTERVIEL  
Expieriment 626 is the one you captured!

YZMA  
Oh. Yes. I see. Varywell, Dr. Hamsterwheel.

DR. HÄMSTERVIEL  
It's Viel! Hämsterviel!

YZMA  
Alright, Dr. Hämsterviel.

DR. HÄMSTERVIEL  
That's better. Now commence the interrogation!

STITCH  
Stitch'll never tell you where his cousins are! Never!

DR. HÄMSTER  
Try all you want, 626! We have ways to make you talk!

We then cut to Kuzco, Kronk, Malina, Lilo, Nani, Jumba and Pleakley searching for Stitch.

KUZCO  
We've searched all over the island and found no sign of your chinchilla dog. What do we do now/

LILO  
Oh no!

MALINA  
What?

LILO  
That!

Lilo then points to Dr. Hämsterviel, who is searching the island, for another experiment, hoping to force Stitch into revealing the location of the others.

KUZCO  
What? You're scared of a harmless little gerbil?

DR. HÄMSTERVIEL

Hamster! Hamster! I am not a gerbil!

KUZCO  
Wait did that gerbil just talk?

LILO

Um….

KUZCO  
Oh wait a minute, I get it…. That's not a gerbil. That's a person…

DR. HÄMSTERVIEL  
What?

KUZCO

Yzma must of followed us here and used one of her potions to turn this poor local into this gerbil like thing.

DR.HÄMSTERVIEL  
Hamster like! Not gerbil! I am hamster like, and I am not a local, I am Dr. Jacques von Hämsterviel! Future emperor of the galaxy!

KUZCO  
Emperor of the galaxy?

DR. HÄMSTERVIEL  
Yes! Once I've caught all 626 of Dr. Jumba Jookiba's Illegal genetic experiments, I shall rule the galaxy! I do have this minor problem though. You see I kind of made a deal with this old lady that she'd become empress of the galaxy if she caught the experiments. But once I find a way to get her out of the picture, I will take over and rule the galaxy!

KUZCO  
Wait, was this old lady scary beyond all reason?

DR. HÄMSTERVIEL  
Well, come to think of it… yeah she was pretty scary.

KUZCO  
Yzma!

DR. HÄMSTERVIEL  
You know her?

KUZCO  
Uh duh, like I said that already. We're you even listening before?

DR. HÄMSTERVIEL  
So you do know her?

KUZCO  
Yeah, she's my arch enemy.

DR. HÄMSTERVIEL  
Oh, so you must be Couscous!

KUZCO  
It's Kuzco! Come on, is it really that hard to pronounce?

MALINA  
So wait, this "hamster" guy wants to take over the galaxy?

KUZCO

Um, hello, didn't he just say that? Man and I thought Kronk was slow.

MALINA  
I knew something weird was going on here.

KUZCO  
Yeah me too. Clearly I'm going crazy.

MALINA  
Um… no. Don't you see Kuzco? Jumba, Pleakley, Dr. Hämsterviel, Stitch?

Malina then walks over to Pleakley and Jumba, taking off Pleakley's wig, and revealing his true identity, she then remove's Jumba's lensless glasses.

MALINA  
They're all aliens!

PLEAKLEY  
Wow! She's good.

KRONK  
So space people do exist?

KUZCO  
Oh goodie! Well then, you should all know I am emperor of earth I demand you give me presents!

PLEAKLEY  
Yes your highness! Be right back.

MALINA  
He's not very smart, is he?

JUMBA  
No, I'm afraid he is not.

MALINA  
Come on, we've got to follow that hamster! He must have Stitch!

After the six leave, Pleakley returns with a present.

PLEAKLEY  
Um… your highness? Hello?

We then cut to Yzma and Hämsterviel, holding Stitch captive.

DR. HÄMSTERVIEL  
So, 626, you refuse to reveal the whereabouts of the other expeiriments? Huh.

STITCH  
Stitch never tell!

DR. HÄMSTERVIEL  
Alright, Yzma.

YZMA  
Ah, yes 626, perhaps this will persuade you to change your mind?

Yzma then lifts up her skirt…

STITCH  
Agggh! Iky!

Yzma then lifts her leg to reveal a button. Stitch sighs in relief.

STITCH  
Oh, Oketaka.

Yzma then pushes the button, and a teleportation pod opens up, a female computer voice is heard.

COMPUTER VOICE  
Teleportation sequence, activated…

Suddenly a pink, feminine looking experiment, with a V shaped stripe on its chest and long antennae appears in the pod.

STITCH  
Angel!

ANGEL  
Boojiboo!

YZMA  
Now tell us where the other experiments are or you precious angel gets it!

STITCH  
What?

YZMA  
What do you mean what?

STITCH  
Angel get what?

YZMA  
Oh! If you don't talk, Angel will get this!

Yzma pulls out a vial containing a pink liquid!

STITCH  
Oh no! … What is it?

YZMA  
It's my sleeping potion, just one drop and your precious friend will fall into a deep permanent sleep!

STITCH  
No!

HÄMSTERVIEL  
Now! Tell us where the other experiments are!

STITCH  
Okay, Okay, they're…

Malina, Kuzco, Kronk, Nani, Jumba, Pleakley and Lilo burst into the ship.

LILO  
Stitch! No!

STITCH  
Lilo?

KUZCO  
Let that chinchilla… dog… alien… thing go. Now!

YZMA  
Well, Kuzco, we meet again. Dr. Hämsterviel, destroy them!

Dr. HÄMSTERVIEL  
Destroy them? At last! I'll get to destroy that bratty little girl! And make her best friend watch!

STITCH  
No!

YZMA  
Yes, but don't forget to destroy Kuzco too!

DR. HÄMSTERVIEL

No.

YZMA  
Destroy him, Dr. Hämsterviel! That's an order!

DR. HÄMSTERVIEL

Excuse me? Did you just order me? I am future emperor of the galaxy, you can not order me! I am ruler of everything! No one commands me to do their bidding!

YZMA  
Ruler of the galaxy? You promised me that title!

DR. HÄMSTERVIEL  
Oh, did I say I was going to become the supreme ruler? No, I meant to say you'll become the supreme ruler, and I'll be your advisor. Yes.

YZMA  
Why you lying little rodent!

Yzma pulls out a potion and throws it at Dr. Hämsterviel, creating a poof of smoke, and suddenly, Dr. Hamsterviel has been turned into a tiny, purple… gerbil with a high squeaky voice.

DR. HÄMSTERVIEL (as gerbil.)  
You can't do this to me!

Yzma then pulls out a hammer, and prepares to smash Dr. Hämsterviel! Dr. Hämsterviel however runs away, only to run into Captain Gantu, who picks him up.

CAPTAIN GANTU  
Dr. Jacques von Hämsterviel, you're under arrest by order of the Galactic federation.

DR. HÄMSTERVIEL

But Gantu, how'd you know it was me?

CAPTAIN GANTU

Because the genetic scanner picked up readings of your DNA.

Gantu then cuffs Hämsterviel, and puts him down, as two dinosaur-like police officers wearing space suits aim plasma guns at him and force him into the ship.

POLICE OFFICER #1

Alright gerbil boy, you're coming with us!

HÄMSTERVIEL  
No, please, it was all a misunderstanding! I never met to cause any harm!

POLICE OFFICER # 2

Yeah, yeah, tell it to the judge.

We then cut back to inside Dr. Hämsterviel's ship, where Stitch and Angel have escaped.

YZMA  
Alright, Kuzco! That little rat may have gotten away, but I can still destroy you!

Stitch then runs up and covers Kuzco.

STITCH  
Yzma naga kweesta!

Kuzco help save Stitch! Kuzco is ohana now.

KUZCO  
Aw, how sweet… too bad I don't know what that means.

STITCH  
Ohana means family! And family means…

LILO  
No one get's left behind.

STITCH  
Or forgotten.

YZMA  
Very well! You win this time Kuzco! But as soon as we get back home, I'm going to destroy you! Ahahahaha!

Everybody then leaves the ship, and they all see a tall blue-gray alien. This is the Grand Councilwoman.

GRAND COUNCILWOMAN

Congradulations Lilo, you have brought Hämsterviel to justice again! And who are your new friends?

LILO  
That's Kuzco, Malina and Kronk. I couldn't have done it without their help.

The Grand Councilwoman then walks over to Kuzco, Malina and Kronk, and places medals of honor on them.

GRAND COUNCILWOMAN  
Alright then. Kuzco, Malina, Kronk, you are now heroes to the Galactic Federation!

You will be under our watchful protection from this moment forward.

KUZCO  
Yeah that's nice but…

Malina covers Kuzco's mouth.

MALINA  
Thanks.

The Grand Councilwoman then enters her ship, and leaves earth.

Oh boy! Now can we have a spinach puff luau?

We then cut to everyone doing the Hula at a luau.

KRONK  
Oh this has been the best vacation ever. We got to travel through time, fight evil, and I accomplished my lifetime dream of holding a spinach puff luau!

KUZCO  
Yeah Kronk, it's been fun, but how are we going to get back home?

MALINA  
Don't worry, I have an idea.

We then cut to Kuzco, Malina, Kronk and Yzma in Peru, along with Jumba who flew them there in his spaceship. He then gives Kuzco, Malina, Kronk, and Yzma a time machine.

JUMBA  
Just turn the dial to the time you want to go and press the red button. Okay?

KUZCO  
Okay.

JUMBA  
Alright! Aloha!

KUZCO, MALINA, KRONK AND YZMA  
Aloha!

Kuzco turns the dial, and everyone is transported back to their original time. We then cut to Kuzco in the palace, on his throne, talking to Malina and Kronk.

KUZCO  
Thank you both for helping me out so much. I don't know how to repay you.

MALINA  
I'm just surprised you actually thanked us.

KRONK  
Yeah, me too.

KUZCO  
Well, of course, without you I'd probably be squashed.

Yzma appears behind the throne, about to smash Kuzco with a hammer.

MALINA  
Um, Kuzco…

KUZCO  
Don't worry, I'm on it.

Kuzco pushes a button and Yzma is dropped down into the dungeon.

KUZCO  
Oh yeah, it's good to be home.

MALINA  
Kronk and I we're just about to go for a walk, want to come?

KUZCO  
Sure, I could use the exercise.

KRONK  
Got that right.

KUZCO  
Well guys, you know I learned a lot today.

I learned… um… well… What did I learn?

KRONK  
You learned Ohana means family.

KUZCO  
Yeah, I learned that.

MALINA  
And there's life on other planets.

KUZCO  
Yeah, see I learned a lot. I'm so smart. Smarty Kuzco. S-M-… wait how do you spell smart?

THE END


End file.
